An Agent’s Insight
Deep down, we tried anchoring reality with links that forms our based in existence. Psychologically, we want to know that we exist, by having relations with outside world.
In Ingress, links are formed with 2 fully resonated portals. In life, links are formed between our willingness to reach out, and responses of corresponding target. For example, an agent’s interest with Ingress, and the availability of Ingress and its related resources to that particular agent.
Just as Ingress agents having very personally progress curves, we have different life path progresses in reality. And while the world is recovering from COVID, it seems like my mind has wondered into a lonely path.
And oddly, Ingress appeared out of no where to anchor my existence in reality. Like forming links between portals, Ingress seems to be that link for me and reality.
Until the start of deliberate and continuous bullying and trolling, off setting my own balance and reminds me of the lonely childhood full of abusive bullying everywhere. The helplessness and self doubt is a bottomless pit that crushes soul.
When that person proudly exclaimed: “I’m very famous for being extremely vicious”, I just want to hide away into nothingness. My stomach twisted with everything seeking to gush out, just like me seeking that near exit.
I coward into the dark, remembering that young boy from childhood so badly abused. I told him that he is not alone. Somewhere down life, he will be able to escape that cage, and he will go places and see wonders. Sometimes the past gets the better hold on us, but it’s ok. We have each other.
Personally, I would be proud if I’m known to be a good person; I would be proud if people remember me as that person with awkward social skill that left people happy.
As choices we made in life is always different from others, there’s no wrong if being famous for wickedness makes you proud. At the same time, allow me to exclaim, that your preferred choice of coffee, doesn’t suit me as a tea drinker. You may be happy forcing that black liquid down my throat. But I am not enjoying.
Ingress is fun with interactions, and the surprising factor of discovering an elaborated art like fielding. It shines with human’s spirit in creativity and unity.
Imagine chasing others away until you are only left with yourself. Then, you create another identity to fill that hollowness so you can continue to field. By doing so, what do you hope to achieve?
So, please stop the abusive bullying and trolling. We unite as the label ‘human’, not anything else.
A Short Story
Somewhere in the Nokia-era, a young girl approached me for money on the road side. She had lost her wallet, and I remembered she told me she wanted to go home in fear of what awaits when she told her parents she lost her wallet.
Being socially awakened doesn’t mean that I’m an idiot. Still, I gave her the few notes in my wallet, and told her this looking into her eye: “I choose to believe you”.
It’s not the thought of “am I being con?” that bothers me. But the thought of “I hope I didn’t create a monster by giving her the easy way out in life” that irks me.
When I told my cousin about this, he told me he would do the same thing, say the same thing, and include this: “Because I hope that if my daughter should met an unfortunate fate as you somewhere in the future, some kind soul will choose to help”.
In life, we sow seeds that flourish into something beyond expectation. If I could have children, I’ll be proud if my children remember me as that socially awkward dad that choose to believe a stranger and render them help.