clathrateclathrate ✭✭
edited September 2020 in SITREPs

Name: A Sonny-Day

Purview: Cause Organised Chaos

Reason: Wingham Wildlife Park, is an idyllic garden of amazing, exotic animals, inside the Garden Of England: Kent, and after visiting, creating portals, using them for the improbable. 

Format: Starburst (noun alt - Opalfruit: confectionery name-change) a sweet, panic-inducing, county-claiming, mass-agent-action. All links to one portal. Max Bang for Buck.


Keys Are Life: Farm ~ (Set-up x Effort x Time Investment)

Standard Protocol: do not recharge, allow portals to decay, do not link; warn uninvolved players; give as little away to RES as players can; drink(s)(ss); worry(fret); repeatedly ask same questions; key exchanges; kit swaps; farm resos, farm resos.

*Our amazingly detailed plan.

(On Day):

Necessities: Non-sleep deprivation; be where you should when you should; batteries; wires: water; food; warm-weather clothes (those warned weren’t always forearmed); sense of humour

Optional: secondary sense of humour; energy; banter

Agent Names:

  • Sonny58 (plan, farming and team leader) 
  • The Trolls (race-workhorses):
  • SahanaTrolls(the talent)
  • TerryTrolls (just a driver/rower)
  • ShailTrolls (mule/comedy relief)
  • Zeebass (team motivation, sniper, fixer)
  • Knightnuada (intel)
  • Jimbobwai (running his plan; actual running)
  • EpicGinger (team whip)
  • FieryLilac (coastal queen)
  • LegionUK2 (all-round everything)
  • Chipperlarter (forbearance)
  • clathrate (plodder)

Links made: 

  • At peak/once:1058 (plus 8 outgoing made the fortuitous and very accidentally historical 1066); probable overall: 1300

Links broken:

  • Enough to be worried about 1K aim.

Towns visited:

  • Ashford; Sheppy; Charing; Canterbury; Challock; Chilham; Old Wives Lees; Wye; Dunkirk; Wingham; Birchington; Westgate; Margate; Broadstairs; Ramsgate; Whitstablee; HerneBay; Faversham; Selling
  • Bloody EVERY town (“I was looking at the portals, not the name!”)

Favourite bit:

  • End results
  • Throwing links
  • Dropping fields
  • Heading to targets
  • Synchronised start with GO!
  • Elation of hitting 1000 links
  • Actually getting out of the car
  • Levelling up while being a dot amidst 300 railroad-like links


  • "Nia announcing end of extra portal hacks in the middle of us gathering keys for the op; meaning we had one week to go turbo on key gathering"
  • Signal...always signal!!!
  • We had a spoofer add resonators to the starburst portal overnight, for which they got banned within a day of reporting, thanks to the right channels.

Worst bit:

  • Auto-chat reading in-car
  • Wind
  • Freezing cold on a costal PITA portal
  • Achy legs


  • Scrambled eggs; Veggie sausage slices; Sausage slices; Cereal bar; Water; McD****ds; Monster M*nch; Fr*dge Raiders; Diet C*ke; Har*bo; Chocolate; Beer; Sausage sandwich; Countless cups of tea

Time spent:

  • “My entire life? I mean, lots. Farming as life. I was fixated on keeping simple fields over the play area to suppress activity; innumerable work hours.”
  • 200+ people hrs on the day

Miles travelled:

  • 400+ by car
  • 20+ by running
  • 18+ by foot
  • 5+ by scooter

Money spent:

  • £X00 (season tickets to wildlife park, fuel, bus tickets, parking, food)

Funny/odd thing:

  • While parked at a throwing portal, suddenly a farm gate opened and lots of chickens ran out from their enclosure
  • A taxi driver who didn’t understand multiple destinations


  • Bobby Caldwell What You Won’t Do For Love
  • Countless robotic sat nav voices
  • Bad dance music our partners don’t like

Other: (Intel)

  • 22 intel screenshots
  • Tea; tea; tea; tea; tea; tea.
  • Innumerable trips to the loo
  • Panic over two res agents, who temporarily kept us under our 1K target
  • Special shoutout to the trolls for doing two back and forths over 100 miles

Overall: our team image was a meerkat, inspired by Wingham Wildlife Park.

Image copyright Wingham WIldlife Park.

The End: while the weather was grim, and it wasn't a sunny day, it was a Sonny Day.


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